Rogers psychotherapy sessions with God (book work in progress)
Posted on April 27, 2021
It’s not very light in here said Roger who was feeling rather on edge.
Roger looked pale and black was not good for his mood. He sighed heavily
and then continued, but what happened to the light bulbs?
Well, said God, I’ve not turned the light bulb on Roger. The dinosaurs
broke into the large cupboard and ate them all and now I am waiting for a
new delivery of lightbulbs, unfortunately the Angels are these days
constantly pissed! God paused, then muttered under his breath. Bloody
angels! Ever since the human race started educating themselves better and
started getting along, the Angels have barely anything to do. I used to
send them on errands to warn the humans that evil was not the answer, and
for ages there was so much evil going on that the Angels were working 24
hours a day, one day on, one day off and had to drink 15 cups of coffee a
day to keep themselves awake. Now they have barely anything to do and are
thinking of going self employed, which would be fine by me, because as
you can imagine the cost of lighting heaven is extortionate!! God said
this whilst waving his arms about, but it was a pointless exercise, and
it was pitch black and Roger could only see the end of his nose.
Oh, said Roger who was not really interested in how much it cost to run
heaven. He had just arrived here and was extremely on edge and also was
still in shock that his body had miraculously repaired itself, because
the last memory he had had was of a car speeding towards him as he tried
to cross the road. Roger had unfortunately tripped over a bra that a
woman had left on the pavement after an obviously wild night out. He had
got his leg caught in one of the bra straps, and had stepped on the other
bra strap, tripped himself up and fallen infront of a car. And it wasn’t
even a nice car. It was a reliant Robin. Roger got knocked over by it,
then got run over by a large fat man on a bicycle, before being
permanently killed by a much more expensive car, a Jaguar. Which is a
great car, unless you get killed by it! There was a short silence, and
then God said, are you sitting comfortably?
Yes, said Roger, no expense spared I see, well I say I see but I can’t
see whatsoever as you’ve run out of lightbulbs, but they feel nice,
velvet isn’t it said Roger running his hand along the seat.
Yes said God, and lit up a cigarette with his lighter. The lighter lit up
God’s face, God was wearing sunglasses, he looked cool, just like he
thought God would look. God’s face looked just like it did in so many
paintings, soft and kind, and with a great beard. Roger was quite
envious, beard growing just irritated him, but his own face also felt
lovely and smooth, now it was miraculously repaired and his body was back
in fine looking form, despite him being dead.