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Poetry

How the heart seems

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Oh, how the heart it seems today,
for it is as if it is cast far away,
far away upon the sea,
and flowing back and forth and not settling at all,
and constantly moving indecisively,
oh, what a misery,
what a misery within me,
what a debilitating thing,
what a conflicting thing,
not knowing where happinness lies in my heart,
yes, not knowing exactly what I want,
and not knowing exactly in my life where I should be it is a misery,
and oh, how I wish this would end,
this uncertainty,
but these days it seems to come so easily,
yes, so easily to me,
and what a frustrating thing it is,
and I wish I had better clarity,
but the heart it clouds the mind and it fogs the brain so easily,
and oh, how indecisive the heart seems today,
and how annoying it is,
for it is as if cast far away upon the sea,
and it is not finding any way back to the shore at all,
but instead floating endlessly,
endlessly back and forth,
forth and back endlessly,
and oh, how my mind how awfully it suffers this internal misery,
and how cruel a heart can be to oneself,
and I wish it was not,
and I cannot decide what is worse,
the heart tricking the mind,
or the mind tricking the heart,
but whatever it is,
it is a misery,
a misery that I could do without,
but today I am truly lost,
contemplating the joy, the pain and the agony,
the joy, the pain and the agony of love,
oh, is love necessary,
is love necessary?
Right now, I do not know,
because I,
I far too frequently agonise over it,
and it destroys me,
and it shatters my mind and it destroys my sanity whenever I think of it,
and maybe I think of it too much,
and maybe I try too hard,
and maybe I should not think of love at all,
and just let it be,
just let it be?
But, oh, how indecisive the heart it seems today,
for it is as if cast far away,
far away upon the sea,
floating endlessly,
when instead, I,
I want the shore and the ground beneath my feet,
but here I am, as if floating upon the sea,
here I am not sure at all whether love is any good for me,
because heartbreak in the past, it has jaded me,
oh, the agony of the uncertainty torturing me,
so, please stop,
please stop dear heart and mind,
please do stop I beg of thee
because I am as indecisive as can be,
and time unfortunately it does not stand still,
and if I wait too long my life will be gone,
and about love I will still be,
I will still be as uncertain as can be,
but when I am dead love will not torture me,
but I would rather be alive and happy than dead,
so, please do stop dear heart and mind,
please do stop thinking and pondering about love oh, I beg of thee,
I beg of thee,
please let me think of something else,
and please,
please put me out of my misery.

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